The NOPE Book Tag

Thank you, Suzie @ Of All the Books in All the Libraries for spontaneously inviting me to join the NOPE book tag!

After reading her brilliant list of NOPEs I quickly figured out we´re book NOPE twins, as my list looks similar to hers. But since I can´t really add ALL the books I find NOPE worthy I´ll just stick to the one´s I blog ( or, will blog ) about.

Get your knickers in the right place because this is going to be a LONG ride.

( NOTE: Apologies for the possible book hate. When it comes to NOPE books I tend to be a litte opinionated passionate. If your favorite book is among my list then remember, it´s not you. It´s the book. x )

These are books I literally found no love for.

 

NOPE. ending

A book ending that made you go NOPE, either in denial, rage or simply because the ending was crappy.

revolutionary road

That ending. NOPE. Not only was the story a little depressing it made me feel like someone baked a huge cheese cake and ate at it bit by bit until there was only one piece left. The end felt like that last piece of cheese cake… Being inhaled in an unlovable way. To this day, I refuse to watch the movie as I´m sure the TV wouldn´t stay intact.

Don´t get me wrong. I knew what I was getting into. But knowing a story before reading it yourself isn´t exactly the same thing. Having read through the dreadful marriage Frank and April went through I got all worked up and for what? To get more worked up? No, thank you.

Big Fat NOPE.

 

 

NOPE. protagonist

A main character you dislike and drives you crazy.
gone girl

I fully agree with Suzie´s NOPE protagonist ( Briony from Atonement ). That kid deserved to be locked away ( preferably in a room below a basement ) for crewing up so many people´s lives. But my NOPE protagonist award goes to Amy Dunne from `Gone Girl`. That woman was so bat-shit crazy. She drove ME crazy with her thoughts and actions. An absolute NOPE for me. She is also the only book character I could rant about for ages. I still, to this day, can´t believe I didn´t DNF this book.

 

 

 

NOPE. series

A series that turned out to be a huge pile of NOPE after you´ve invested all of that time and energy on it.

after series

I have many series that are NOPE worthy but this one takes the cake for me. `After`by Anna Todd. This series even beats ACOTAR, and that really does say a lot. I´m sure no series will ever beat this one off the NOPE. series list. reviews for book #1-#5 here

There is so much wrong with this series. Or, I´m definitely too old to appreciate the awesomeness this series has. Or no. Wait. I have standards. Oops. I´ve forgotten about those. Yeah. Even though I´ve screwed down on my own book standards this series still makes #1 on my Nope list.

 

NOPE. pairing

A “ship” you don´t support.

cersei and jamie

 

Now, there´s a ship I don´t support. I love Cersei and Jaime Lannister. Both are fantastic figures in the Game of Thrones series.  I just don´t love them together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOPE. plot twist

A twist you didn´t see coming and didn´t like.

 

I´m with Suzie on this one. Didn´t like the twist.

In fact- I didn´t like the book.gone girl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOPE. genre

A genre you will never read.

I truly have never given this any thought at all because I read most genres. Some genres I enjoy more and some less. But if I have to pick one off the top of my hat then I´d go with Caveman romance. ( Do not question caveman romance. The book bestie Mirjam recommended a caveman romance years ago and I still can´t stop laughing. A genre that will never win me over. ) Nope. Nope. Nope.

NOPE. format 

A book format you hate and avoid buying until it comes out in a different edition.

I´m confused. Aren´t there already many different editions for certain formats?

 

NOPE. trope

A trope that makes you go NOPE.

Broken Heroes in romance novels. Seriously. Seriously? What´s with all the constant

“I´m too fucked up.” crap? If you´re that fucked then I advise THERAPY!! AND STAY THERE FOR A LONG TIME!

 

NOPE. recommendation

A book recommendation that is constantly pushed at you, that you simply refuse to read it. 

`The Fault In Our Stars` by John Green. I can´t begin to tell you how many times this book cover has been shoved at me and how often blogger friends have recommended this read. Why would I want to read something sad? As in, `The Fault In Our Stars`sad?!The fault in our stars

Besides, I accidentally watched the movie. And that was awful ( I will never forget husbands face when he walked in on me watching that movie. He looked so…lost. Even bought me flowers the next day because he didn´t know how to deal with an ugly sobbing me.

Nope. The movie was enough. Not going to ever read this book. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOPE. cliché

A cliché or writing pet peeve that always makes you roll your eyes.

virgin

Virgins in romance novels. Spare me.

 

NOPE. love interest

A love interest that´s not worth being one.

Gideon Cross, from the Crossfire series written by Sylvia Day. PLEASE…. He´s many things but not worth being a love interest.

 

NOPE. book

A book that shouldn´t have existed.

 

Sophie´s Choice by William Styron. I even refuse to talk about it.

Sophies choice

 

NOPE. villain

A villain you would hate to cross.

Definitely the White Witch from `The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe`. She´s a classic villain but a mean AF one, at it. I wouldn´t want to cross her path. Not in this or any other universe. Who freezes Narnia, for crying out loud?!white witch

 

NOPE. death

A character death that still haunts you.

ned

I will never get over this one. If only he had stayed in Winterfell.

 

NOPE. author

An author you had a bad experience reading and have decided to quit.

I normally don´t like to NOPE an author, as they´re all probably a bunch of lovely people but…… (!!!!!!!!) I´m going to go with Tarryn Fisher. While the author might have some great story ideas her writing is ( even for my taste ) just too pushy and in-your-face. Sadly, also in the most tacky and insensitive ways possible. I know, I know. The author wants to make a point and have a loud voice in the book community. But that idea of the author just bounced right off me. I find the author´s writing terrible. As if she´s writing with anger instead of passion ( because there´s a fine line between passion and anger, which the author long over stepped, in my opinion ) `Bad Mommy` was supposed to be her finest book. The praises I´ve heard before I read it were as loud as any fog horn. The end result? Not worth my time and money. None of the books I tried reading from the author were. Hence the reason why I just gave up on trying to find the same beauty everyone else seems to see in the author´s work.

 

So, that´s it.

I tag:

 

Sabrina & Ashley @5171 Miles Book Blog

Nina @ The Cozy Pages

Tina @ Woodies Book Addiction

 

Mucho Mucho Thanks, Suzie! I had such a blast! ❤

Religion In Romance Novels

This is a topic I´m not all too happy to write about because… Well, there are topics you just don´t discuss. Sadly though, I feel the need to get this off my chest.

Back in the day my first boss gave me some valuable piece of advice:

Never talk about religion, politics or money with a customer. Later in life I added the “raising kids” topic to that list because that´s also something people can easily argue over. A simple fact. I´ve lived by the “Never Discuss….” rule ever since.

 

After a happy shopping spree on Amazon I spotted a beautiful book cover with a great book title. When I saw the author´s name my excitement grew. Mia Sheridan.

more than words

One of my favorite romance authors published a new book! `More Than Words` was published June 12th! WOOP!

I didn´t hesitate with reading a few Amazon reviews. This one was what sealed the deal for me.

 

Wow. First off, I think the review was well constructed and perfectly written. The reviewer, despite her non religious beliefs, rated the book with  4.5 stars, whereas I….

… I wouldn´t have been so generous.

Some may see the review as a spoiler. I see the review as helpful.

I´m an atheist. A happy one, at that. I, too, respect and accept other people´s beliefs and would never judge them publicly for what they think exists or not just as I would never want people to judge me openly for not believing in God.

The reviewer is right: Some people think love and religion go hand in hand. I believe religion should stay far away from love and from romance novels. Unless you´re an author writing epic stories about badass vampires and demons who reveal just how twisted and corrupted the religious world is  (  Read Hedoschism by Lindsey Clarke on Wattpad  )… you shouldn´t really include religion in a romantic story.

Of course, there are many  subjects readers avoid, such as: adultery, erotica in general, rape, M/M, F/F, M/M/F, fetish, etc. But none are as controversial as religion.

I´m fully aware that authors will never reach everyone´s hearts with their writing, no matter what they write about or what topic they include. Opinions vary. Why shouldn´t authors be allowed to include religion in their romance novels, right?

Exactly.

But for me, the happy atheist who wants to read a new Mia Sheridan romance novel, it´s disappointing to find out there´s religion included. I won´t buy the book.

Yes. One single review had the ability to influence my book purchase. GOOD! That´s what reviews are for.

I´m actually grateful for the reviewer´s insight because if I had bought the book without knowing about the “issue” that bothered the reviewer I would have been a very unhappy book blogger.

Because I don´t believe in God. Because religion doesn´t make sense to me. Never has and never will.

Now, you´re probably asking what happens when I accidentally stumble upon a romance novel that has religion included.

Due to my lack of interest on the subject I immediately DNF a romance novel that has religious characters in it.

And I also bet you´re asking why I accept religion in paranormal / fantasy novels and not with romance novels?

The answer is simple: Fantasy or paranormal stories are basically modern-day fairy tales drawn out to extreme levels. There´s creativity in world building, character forming and storytelling. For me, God and the Bible fit perfectly in that niche.  It´s make – believe. It´s not real.

Whereas romance novels are set in realistic worlds and characters deal with realistic issues. God and the Bible do not fit in a world I can relate with.

I struggle to believe God and contemporary romance novels could ever go hand in hand.

I´ve probably offended many people with my opinion on the subject, even though I´ve tried my best not to discriminate religion or people who believe in God.

But just as religious people have the right to openly love and praise their God ( and those who do praise God do it rather loudly ), I am also allowed to do the unthinkable and state my opinion on how I think religion is nothing more than a waste of time. Seeing religion in romance novels does not sit well with me.

 

What are your thoughts on the subject? Are you bothered by religion in romance novels? Do you even care if religion is included in any story? Are you delighted to see authors including religion in romance novels?

Do not hesitate to leave a comment. I´m ( thankfully ) one of those people who agree to disagree.

NOTE FOR OVERLY RELIGIOUS MEMBERS OF SOCIETY: I´m happy. Please do not tag me in any religious posts on social media and do not pray for me. If you feel the need to block / unfollow / unfriend me due to our religious differences then I will not stop you.

 

 

 

 

Hot Book Topic – Faleena Hopkins Trademark Escapade

 

And I thought I´ve seen it all. I guess I haven´t ( and I´ve seen some crazy stuff happening in the book universe ).

Faleena Hopkins. You´ve probably heard of the author of the `Cocker Brothers Of Atlanta series´… A contemporary romance that´s 17 books heavy ( Yes. A series with 17 books ). You´ve heard of her, right?

Well, to be honest… I haven´t, either.

 

But thanks to the little shitstorm the author created with her trademarking the word `cocky` I am now fully aware of the author and her books.

Opinions are split over the subject. Some people think it was a good call from the author to trademark a single word as a way to protect her books / the title or whatever. Some believe the author has done the unthinkable. Some think it´s a clever marketing strategy. And then there are those few who don´t give a flying f**k.

My overall opinion at first? Who cares. Whatever floats a person´s boat is always fine by me. As long as something doesn´t affect others in a negative way then I don´t realy care.

That´s the problem, though. By trademarking a word for a book ( as the author so kindly did ) she prevented other authors from using that word for their own titles. In a way that´s harmful. Just as any other trademarked word would have been harmful.

cocky

The whole shitstorm then shifted and became worse. Not only did Faleena Hopkins trademark a word  she also felt the need to defend herself on Twitter, via video.

Faleena Hopkins Meltdown Vid

I´ve seen it and I can´t really decide if I desperately want to UNsee it or if I need to watch it again. It´s like a train wreck happening in slow – motion.

Faleena Hopkins, author of a book series I´ve never heard of before, was accusing others for cyber bullying.

Excuse moi?

Okay. Let´s take a moment for a quick breath and try to see this with a more clear mind by simplifying the whole mess.

Author trademarked a  word.

Outcome: She pisses off many authors + puts herself in a questionable light.

Author feels bullied because people are questioning her actions.

Outcome: She uploads a video and pisses everyone off.

Author starts suing people.

Outcome: She´s creating chaos and pissing more people off.

Sometimes it´s best to shut up.

 

I can´t say I blame the people for not agreeing with Faleena Hopkins. I can´t even blame the many so-called “attackers” for not accepting Faleena Hopkins actions or her attempt at acting like the victim, because her video displays exactly that: The author going against internet faces that don´t agree with her. It´s a war that shouldn´t even have started. But then again… an author shouldn´t trademark a word, either.

I´m not one to take sides, as I love to be the one sitting back and having an eye on things, thinking about how many questionable people are roaming the grounds of the world. But since this has escalated into a terrible soap opera I feel obliged to check the internet for updates now.

Personally, I belive you can´t piss people off by playing by the written and unwritten rules. That´s a given. If my neighbor doesn´t let his dog relieve himself on my doorstep then I don´t have a reason to be mad / sad / hurt / enraged. Neither does my neighbor, for that matter.

Ever since that long cringe – worthy and totally unnecessary meltdown  video there have been statements and documents released that have been even more wince – worthy. So much so that even I feel ashamed that one person has gone to such great lengths, as the author has already done, for something that could have been easily avoided in the first place.

BY PISSING PEOPLE OFF. 

And this is coming from someone who´s actually very debate – friendly. I love to have a great discussion. A decent, civilized banter. But I don´t appreciate people lashing out to such extremes, no matter what the topic is.

The author caused mayhem in a normally peaceful book universe. Who does that?

As far as I´m informed, the author has 3 trademarks already for the following below:

  • The Cocky series
  • Cocky
  • Cocky in the font on her covers

Dare I say that I find the second and third point a bit pointless? To some extent I can understand that the author would want to trademark her series ( keyword: to some extent ). But the rest? Unless the cover was done by the author herself ( which it hasn´t been ) then I see gloomy court visits ahead for the author.

Look. It´s different when you open a business and want to trademark a shop/store name. This just doesn´t apply for words on book titles. Who does that?! It doesn´t make sense.

And because I have no wish to be sued by the author I will say that I believe her intentions were good, but not well thought through… like, at all.

You just don´t do shit like that. But then again, what do I know? I´m just a poor book blogger with a little opinion. A tiny voice among a sea of other voices.

While I wish the author no evil I still don´t believe that all this ( basically the virtual hurricane she created ) will have a positive outcome for Faleena Hopkins.  Especially after the statements she´s made towards readers. How one author can degrade readers like she´s done… I can´t even wrap my head around that. I have no doubt her words have bitten the author in the backside and that her book sales have suffered.

Sure, all this talk has gotten people curious about the author and her books. I´m definitely guilty of being curious. Why wouldn´t I be? I´m a book blogger. I´m sitting here thinking “Well, she must be pretty damn special and must have written explosively good books to pull off a stunt like that. And she must have millions to be able to shit on readers.” It´s only natural that I start googling and looking all her books up on Goodreads. Check out what reviewers have to say on Goodreads

Despite this annoyingly good Author vs. The Rest Of The World issue having a negative effect on me as a potential reader I did find some things that were also a little off-putting for me.

  1. I´m not one of those romance readers who´ll grab a book that has the word `Cocky`on the title. I know I shouldn´t judge a book by it´s title but… Meeh. That´s just not my cup of tea, if you will. Unless a “Cocky” book is recommended by my trusted reading hombre´s… I won´t consider reading a Cocky book.
  2. The `Cocker Brothers Of Atlanta` series has 17 books ( says Goodreads ). Now, while I´m aware that some readers LOVE for a series to continue on forever I´m not one of those readers. I often feel overwhelmed. I even become easily bored with an 8 book series. Seeing book #17 is a tad off-putting for me, even if each book can be read as a standalone.
  3. ” Don´t judge a book by it´s cover.” They said. I´m also guilty for doing exactly that. I´m not a fan of character images ( as faces on a cover could influence the image I want to create for myself when reading ). I prefer faceless.
  4. When all else fails I do give the synopsis a chance before I completely write a book off. I can´t say I was extremely tickled by those, either.
  5. The reviews, new and old. Normally, reviews don´t rattle my world as reviews are subjective. But the combination of the recent events and my dislike for title / cover image / synopsis… I can´t say that I want to rely much on the older 5 star reviews that have been published.

 

All 5 points above aren´t crucial and would normally never bring an author to weep ( at least not publicly ).  Take away the war Faleena Hopkins started and my points for not wanting to read her `Cocky` series would be fine on their own.

 

Now for my final, overall opinion:

( this might leave a bad taste in some author´s mouth )

There is no way to re-invent the wheel. There are countless books on the market from all genres. Any author will have a heck of a hard time coming up with a new story to write about. But it´s not really about coming up with something new. It´s what an author makes out of a story that has already made it´s rounds. Love triangles, roommates, love at first sight, FWB turned couple, baby billionaires, college bad boys…. it´s all been there before. But it´s about what the author does with certain topics. This includes title names!

If an author is afraid their book will be mistaken for another book that has the same title… Then my advice would be to do some homework and check if there´s been an over usage for a certain word in a title before staking a claim to the word. Maybe picking a different title could do the trick? It would certainly prevent shit from hitting the fan.

If an author gives in to drama ( drama said author has started ) and rides that drama wave for no greater purpose then said author should be prepared for the hate that´s attached.

Faleena Hopkins should have known how people would react. The author should have seen the outcome of her actions. No person is that oblivious.

If you become an author you automatically become a public figure. And when you make yourself available you have to think about your actions before you make a move.

The author is in no position to be a public figure when she can´t handle the heat. She´s not allowed to call herself the victim when she caused this mess in the first place. Unless…..

 

The author made a smart publicity move.

 

Now, I´m not accusing the author of being a marketing wizard because I can´t know what the author´s real intentions were but you have to admit that all this sounds like a clever marketing strategy. It´s not particularly nice but no one ever said everyone had to play nice when it came to personal goals.

Bad publicity is still publicity.

While the author hasn´t only  been bathing in the positive feedback tub from her little escapade she most certainly had / has people talking about her. The key is to get noticed. Some people don´t care how that happens, as long as it happens.

Personally, I think it´s a risk that can backfire easily. But then again… I´m just a book blogger with no wish to be on Faleena Hopkins list of people to sue so I´m just assuming all this and saying that it´s a possibility.

Let´s just assume the author did all this for marketing reasons.

 

Meeh. * wave off * Doesn´t make the situation any better, either. She´d still be in the wrong with her trademark thingy. And if not because of that then definitely due to her hurtful statements she´s made towards readers.

Now that we´ve got all this covered I can say what I really wanted to say from the start.

Ready?

Bullshit. Horseshit. What a complete crock of shit.

If you´re interested, you can check out the following hashtags on Twitter. There, you´ll find many authors fighting for the greater good. #cockygate #byefaleena #getloud and you´ll get some insights on the newest Faleena Hopkins happenings.

 

What are your thoughts on the subject. Should an author be allowed to trademark a single word in order to secure their book titles? Does any of this make sense to you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Funny Book Dedications

Those words of thanks from an author to someone special…. They´re often found on the dedication page.

You know, the page most people love to skip because they want to immediately get started with the story? Yeah. That page.

Book dedications might not be of major importance to a story, but some dedications are totally worth taking a look at.

Alas!

Here are 10 Funny Book Dedications

 

  1. Oh?

book meme 1

 

 

 

2. I hope I´m not on this author´s shit – list.

book meme 10

 

3. I bet Dad beamed with pride ( and waved back at the book )

hi dad

 

4. Sir Kmart Asshole.

book meme 3

 

 

5. Uuhm…. okay ( hangs head ). 

book meme 5

 

 

6. I´ve always wondered about that.

book meme 6

 

 

7. Dear author, I can relate.

book meme 7

 

 

8. Poor Mr. Marganit.

book meme 8

 

 

9. Best. Line. Ever.

book meme 9

 

 

10. Oops.

book meme 11

 

It´s worth looking at book dedications. You just never know what you´re going to read.

 

That´s it for now…. Stay tuned for more…. ❤ ❤

What Does A Book Blogger Do?

“So, basically, you read a book and type up a review.”

A statement made by non – book friends, neighbors, my husband and even by my own mother. Actually, that´s what everyone, who isn´t involved in the book business, says to me.

My instinct tells me to take a book and hit the people I love with it. But physical education is illegal, so… It suddenly dawned on me that others have no clue as to what a book blogger actually does.

 

No. Sadly enough, 6 trillion other book bloggers, including myself, do NOT only read and review books. Reading and reviewing is just one aspect of the deal. Just one of many!

There are a few book bloggers who stick to the book blogger basics ( uploading reviews only ) but, they eventually get sucked into trying new things out, too.

Sooner or later – We all get to that special point where we want to become a part of the ever evolving book blogging community and end up doing so much more.

As fun as book blogging sounds, and IS, it´s  TIME CONSUMING! I felt the need to put that in caps to get my point across.

We´re not taking about food or makeup blogging, here. We´re talking about the stuff that not only entertains a person but also educates people. Book blogging is about expressing one´s self. It´s about sharing news on what´s hot and not. Book blogging also is satisfying for one´s own needs in form of discovering new books / authors and helping others with what to read next.

That´s pretty much the glory side of the business, all wrapped up in a nice package. In reality, though, book blogging goes deeper. Much deeper than any outsider could imagine.

Book blogging is intense. It all about hard work with little or no pay. You sometimes need to dig out those big girl panties and thick skins to survive!

It´s time to put an end to the thought of book bloggers “just reading and reviewing”. It´s time to educate the poor souls who think us book bloggers do nothing but hide and read. Book blogging is serious business and it takes tough cookies to master the craft of handling books and blogs from the ass crack of dawn until stupid o´clock.

Let´s start with WHAT IT IS BOOK BLOGGERS ACTUALLY DO.

 

#1

Yes. Book bloggers read alot.

 Probably too much, if you ask anyone who´s not a book blogger. The ugly truth is – Some book bloggers read 3 – 4 books a week. And when ARCs ( Advanced Readers Copies ) are thrown in the mix then bloggers have to step up their reading game to make the deadline. Standard reading for a book blogger would be 1-2 books a week, which is still more than any mortal would do. Book bloggers have to be up to date with new releases, etc. 

It´s also not uncommon for a book blogger to read more than 1 book at a time. I have books in my bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, livingroom…. Lots of unfinished gems.

 

“Reading is always fun.” – said no one, ever.

Not completely true. Reading is, most of the time, fantabulous. But once in a while a book blogger receives an ARC and those aren´t always fun. If a review is requested then there´s no beating around the reading bush. We have to read, page for page, in order to give our full opinion on the book ( skimming´s not allowed ). Our brains have to fully concentrate on the book at hand. It´s a different kind of concentration we have to maintain. And that, my dear friends, can be exhausting. If we read ARCs twice a week then some of us are just pooped beyond words.

It´s worse  when the ARC received is not really our cup of tea. It´s then a “pulling teeth” situation that can have us taking a reading break or make us re-read our favorite novels just to wipe our brains clean.

That might sound mean but it´s a fact.

 

#2

Golden Rule #1 – There are no rules.

 Thank all that´s pink and fluffy for the million outlets that are at our disposal! Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, oh my! A blog isn´t the only place to spread the word. Book bloggers are magicians when it comes to social media. 3 hours and 20 clicks, 6 post saves, 5 scheduled posts later and a book blogger has covered all book bases, making sure EVERYONE in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD sees the book they´re promoting.  But we´re not just excellent at promoting books and authors…. we excell at promoting ourselves, as well! We do that by…

  • doing Facebook posts
  • Coming up with catchy lines for Twitter
  • Being fabulous on Instagram
  • Interacting other people 
  • Creating promo  worthy fan art or graphics
  • using our children / pets ( because they´re cute…and stuff )
  • making videos

We know how the ball rolls and how to work the book mill and we use all we have to get the word spread. 

We´re the invisible cheerleaders.

 

#3

 Our creativity has no end and will never find one!

Our creativity is not narrowed down to writing reviews and thinking of smart and halfway intelligent FB / Twitter posts. Our creativity goes a step further than that.

We´re creative with our blog, too. Did you know that we´re also designers? That´s right, my little Padawans. Us book blog folk spend just as much time with designing our beloved blog as we would with re-decorating our livingroom ( well, probably not. Since there´s hardly time for that..LOL ). We pick a theme, change colors, create logos, move things up and down, left and right until we´re satisfied with how everything looks.

Don´t be fooled. Coming up with ideas is hard work. It involves a night with only one bathroom break.

And guess what? The design is never final. Us book bloggers are constantly changing things over time. Why? Because we have so many ideas and constantly think of ways to improve our appearance. That´s what moody artists do, right? We change things all the time.

* throws pencil across table and aggressively bites in chocolate crossaint while glaring holes in the air *

Life vs. Book Blogging.

Book bloggers often don´t like having to slip back into reality. Real life just has too many challenges. Reading is much easier.

But, we have to eat at some point. We have to sleep, answer the phone, let the dog out…. Life gives us endless chores. No wonder we like to read!

Let me tell you a secret. I don´t really have time to blog. I don´t have time to read, either. Between having kids, an attention seaking husband, my social life outside the house, work, household chores and school…. I don´t really have time to do anything besides drop dead on the sofa after the kids hit the sack. I´m not a soccer mom. Far from it, actually. But life itself is demanding at times.

So, I´m basically 13 hours on my feet then hop on the internet until the ass crack of dawn to get some book blogger stuff done. Same goes for reading.  That is – if I don´t manage to fall asleep before.

My days need more than 24 hours.

But somehow I still manage to find some hours in my impossible schedule. I really can´t tell you how I do it. I just do. And I pay a high price, too. Result: Chonic exhaustion.

 

Sleep is highly overrated.

Who needs sleep? I sure don´t. Many book bloggers don´t, either.

A book blogger quickly learns how to function during the day after having only 4 or 5 hours of sleep. It´s a fact.

Personally, I´ve earned my stripes. It took me years of practice to find the right toothbrush in the a.m. or to not bump my shoulder against the doorframe. Mixing up salt and sugar was yesterday. Now, I can read a book until 4 a.m and still wake up at 7 a.m ( like, once a month ). I might not look like a Disney princess but that´s not important. Important was the chapter I shoved in before I passed out from exhaustion! YAY for ME!

And if I´m not reading until stupid o´clock I´m hanging out at my favorite playground – The internet!

Here´s a small list of things book bloggers try to get done while not sleeping.

  • Come up with something to post on Facebook and Co.
  • Take pics for Instagram and work on them
  • reply to comments
  • visit other blogs ( another aspect that takes TIME )
  • getting back with people you accidentally ditched
  • write reviews
  • Procastinating and unleashing the creative beast within
  • Read 1 – 5 books.

See? There´s absolutely no time for sleep. None.

 

Book Blogging Is Dangerous Business.

There´s a golden rule when it comes to uploading reviews: Hide afterwards. Especially when you publish your not so nice opinion on a highly popular book that has a large, passionate fanbase.

Hence the need for the big girl panties because some fans can be vicious little turds who will stop at nothing to bring you down and make sure you end up in social media jail just because you shared your opinion. An opinion they don´t agree with. There´s always that one special person, a leader of the book troll army who waits for an opportunity to bash a reviewer.

Besides being hunted down by the fan mob, us book bloggers tend to be highly opinionated. We will express, both, our love and hate   dislike for a book in a very passionate and, sometimes, clever way.

We create posts using our large vocabulary all while experiencing our own Battle of the Bastards.

Book Bloggers know how to survive!

* picking up pitch fork / baseball bat / heavy hardcover *

 

Blogger Statistics: Acting like we know what we´re doing – 60%

Actually knowing what we´re doing- 40%.

Sad, right? * snorts * It´s not sad at all. The reality is – Most of us are winging the book blog world as it comes. It´s not our fault people assume we take 2 minutes, tops (!!), for a clever constructed Facebook post. Hey, most of us are happy our fat finger syndrome doesn´t screw things up for us.

When it comes to doing new stuff…. Well, we just act like we know what we´re doing because it would look unprofessional if we didn´t.

We´re the silent assassins, lurking in the corners of the internet.

A special part of our job is to be alert. We have to have our eyes in a lot of places at the same time just so we don´t miss out on something new. A nice side effect of being a silent book assassin is the ability to see more than we want and end up benifiting from the stuff we learn.

In 7 years I´ve learned that:

  • Appearance is half the rent! It´s actually crucial for a book blogger. Graphics, logos, banners, fonts, formatting, colors, selfies, Instagram pictures, and even emojis are important. Don´t have or use any of the above then you need to step up your game.
  • Email structure is mandatory. Although, I have to admit that I don´t care about typing up a professional email. Life is too short. Be wild. Write crappy emails and include 6 hundred hearts before sending the email off to a publishing house! ( and hope for the best)
  • Having a calendar. Because you want to know when books release, blog tours start, etc. You don´t want to be like me, wondering WHEN, HOW and WHY you´ve missed ANOTHER important release dispite having a calendar. Use the damn thing!
  • How to network. It´s all about making friends or connecting with others.
  • How to not make the same mistakes other blogs made. The more you look the more you see and the more you understand. The end result: The more you can do better from the get – go.

 

How much time the world thinks book bloggers need for a review / blog post: 20 minutes.

How long I actually take to write, polish and upload a review or blog post: 2 hours – 4 days.

That! The big secret revealed at last! Blog posts aren´t always a walk in the park. Sometimes it takes a book blogger an hour, if everything goes smooth, to publish a post and sometimes it takes days to come up with the right words before hitting that publish button. What´s taking so long, you ask? Ha! I´m glad you asked. Have a drink while I unroll my book blogger scroll:

  • Sorting out thoughts. Seriously, this is something that takes up a lot of time. You can´t just write ” I enjoyed the book.” and call it a day ( and a review, for that matter). That´s not a book review. You have to craft the post. Mold it and give it your personal touch. You also have to find the right timing.
  • Finding the right graphics takes up time, as well. If you like to be creative with images and gifs then be prepared to sit until your ass becomes numb.
  • Searching for links. It doesn´t matter if you need purchase links or social media links; There´s nothing remotely “quick” about collecting links for a blog post. You think it takes 5 minutes when in reality, you´ve spent 30 minutes searching for 2 links.
  • Polishing a blog post before you upload it. This one I love and hate the most. Before anything goes out I double, triple check everything, such as: Spelling, formatting and images. Sometimes you think you finally got it but then end up re-writing the whole blog post because something seemed wrong, unfitting or you re-write the blog post simply because the whole thing was…. shit.
  • Coming up with brilliant ideas for a blog post and end up forgetting about them. I have this problem. It´s like opening the fridge but forgetting what you wanted to get out. You stare at the yoghurts and cheese like a fool, trying to remember what it was you wanted. It´s the same with ideas for blog posts.

It doesn´t matter if a book blogger wants to write about a serious topic or if the book blogger wants to do a simple and fun post… Both demand time and love.

PS – I´m on day #4 with this blog post. And right now, it´s 2:45 a.m. ( just thought that might interest you. If not, carry on as if nothing had happened )

YES! WE CAN DO MAGIC! We make the impossible possible!

“Can you beta read for me?” SURE!

“Can you share my post?” OF COURSE!

“Do you want to be apart of the cover reveal?” ABSOLUTELY!

No matter how stuffed a book blogger schedule is- There´s always time for an author in need.

We enjoy the little things in life.

There comes a time when a book blogger is rewarded for their hard work. And that reward comes in form of a simple act of appreciation.

“Thank you.”

That´s usually all a blogger needs to read / hear in order to feel the need to keep going.

You see, book blogging… as wonderful as it often is… hardly gets recognition. Many authors or readers take us and our work for granted.

Book bloggers don´t fish for compliments. Quite the opposite, actually. Most, if not all, of us post reviews and bookish stuff just because we want to. Not because we have to. I sure as Hell don´t have to spend my nights with toothpicks holding my eyeslids open but I do it because I find a certain kind of joy in book blogging.

I don´t necessarily like reading until 4 a.m. but I do it because my love for a story is sometimes greater than knowing which kid is standing infront of me at 7 a.m. ( okay. That´s not true. I always know which kid is talking to me. I have a chatty, morning person kid and an evil beast who needs 2 hours alone time before anything happens. I think I´ve just outed myself as a terrible mother. Oh, Lord. I´m definitely going to Hell now. Let´s just forget this part and move on. Remember: I love my kids )

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We want to be apart of the fun and mingle, even if we´re shy and have no idea what we´re doing. We´re a humble bunch with sharp minds.

Without those likes, follows and comments, we have no other way to feel any kind of appreciation.

Sure, it would be nice if some of us got paid for our hard work. But we know that´s not going to happen. No book blogger has ever become a millionaire through writing. We´re aware of that and we accept that.

That´s why we´re over the moon with joy when we receive a simple THANK YOU or any other single word praise. That just shows us that our creativity paid off. Someone actually liked what we put out there. No matter if the kindness was aimed towards a review or a bookish post… it´s always wonderful when someone recognizes a book bloggers work for what it´s worth.

It´s a silent moment of happiness ( because we haven´t found a way to hop through the computer screen and hug the person who was kind. Yet. )

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All in all, we´re moody, over exhausted, loveable book loving creatures who fight the clock every day of our lives. And….

WE DO NOT JUST READ AND REVIEW! ( again, the caps to get the point across )

Do you hear me, Mom? I do NOT just read a book and spend 5 minutes typing a review then spend the rest of my hours watching Johnny Depp clips on Youtube.

 

Do you hear me, Husband? I do NOT just stare at Johnny Depp clips on Youtube. I actually blog… If you´d look at my blog you´d notice.

 

To my bestie, Lindsey Clarke ( author from the glorious The Whitechapel Chronicles): I found new Johnny Depp clips where he doesn´t look so chewed up!

 

I think this is your cue!  If you liked this post then feel free to leave a like and / or comment.  If not then I still appreciate you taking your time to read. I hope you enjoyed!

 

Much Love,

Morgana ❤