Book Review- Love, Rosie by Cecelia Ahern

Book Description

Sometimes you have to look at life in a whole new way…

From the bestselling author of PS, I Love You comes a delightfully enchanting novel about what happens when two people who are meant to be together just can’t seem to get it right.

Rosie and Alex are destined for one another, and everyone seems to know it but them. Best friends since childhood, their relationship gets closer by the day, until Alex gets the news that his family is leaving Dublin and moving to Boston. At 17, Rosie and Alex have just started to see each other in a more romantic light. Devastated, the two make plans for Rosie to apply to colleges in the U.S. 

She gets into Boston University, Alex gets into Harvard, and everything is falling into place, when on the eve of her departure, Rosie gets news that will change their lives forever: She’s pregnant by a boy she’d gone out with while on the rebound from Alex. 

Her dreams for college, Alex, and a glamorous career dashed, Rosie stays in Dublin to become a single mother, while Alex pursues a medical career and a new love in Boston. But destiny is a funny thing, and in this novel, structured as a series of clever e-mails, letters, notes, and a trail of missed opportunities, Alex and Rosie find out that fate isn’t done with them yet.

My Thoughts

Talk about missed opportunities! Sheesh. I´m sweating just buy thinking of this story.

I can easily say that this book is one of the most frustrating books I have ever read. And I loved it! What a cute read! It´s kind of a flappy romance with a serious vibe in between.

A wonderful story that had me from the get-go and I couldn´t think of any other chick-lit better than `Love, Rosie`by Cecelia Ahern.Love Rosie

The storyline is simple yet it´s packed with so many heavy emotions. I was able to see the characters faces and feel their inner turmoil.

And…. what I love most ( besides everything else, of course ) is the fact that this story isn´t too far-fetched from reality. I´ve seen couples / friends slip into the friendzone although they didn´t belong there. Reading about it in a book, though, is a complete differen´t matter. It´s more personal, more emotional. I was a peeping Tom, shocked, stunned, frustrated and so in love!

The characters were a joy. So much of a joy that I felt the need to hit them over the head with a frying pan sometimes.

Rosie made my `fav book chick` list. Awkward, sweet, quirky. Just overall a lovable character.

Alex, although it felt like his character drifted off the mark a little, was also great.

I believe it was a fabulous idea to let a reader accompany the two characters from a very young age up to their middle ages. That way a reader has the opportunity to see more, feel more, understand more of what´s going on. It´s a slow build up with colorful emotions, with the main emotions being frustration and angst. I´ll tell you why:

Yes. I, despite my endless love for the main characters I still felt beyond frustrated with them. I mean- they clearly had a massive communication problem going on and that left me, as a reader, wanting to play the middle-man and knock some sense into Alex and Rosie because the angst was, at times, alot to handle.

I kept thinking „ Okay, now´s the time…. Do it! NOW, damn it! What the hell are you waiting for? The weather isn´t going to get any better if you keep this shit up! DO SOMETHING! I´m not getting any younger and neither ARE YOU GUYS!“

I went through a few sessions of face palming, sighing, tossing the book aside, went through a bottle of wine and nail-biting ( which I normally don´t do). That´s how frustrating this book was for me. But that´s the purpose of a good book. To evoke all kinds of emotions from it´s readers.

And just as I was about to give up on everything… it happened! My special moment I was waiting ages for! The moment that sealed the deal for me.

I had a winner in my hands. A great, timeless romance I will forever cherish.

When I found out that the story was turned into a movie ( yes, I´m a hermit and hardly leave the house and hardly watch TV, don´t judge.Lol) I was out of it with joy and then had mixed feelings because it dawned on me that every single book – to – movie adaptions was just awful. So, I refused to watch the movie at first.

I have no will power, whatsoever.

I watched the movie. I was NOT disappointed. In fact- I was just as in love as I was when I first read the book! The casting was spot on ( besides Lily Collins. I don´t like her much ). All the feels from the book were felt while watching the movie. Brilliant!

Of course, the blogger side of me is dead-set on recommending the book, only. But in this case, I recommend reading the book AND watching the movie. Both are fully worth it. Why? Because it´s a lovestory. Who can resist a good romance? Who can resist watching Sam Claflin and his irresistable smile and listening to his sexy english accent?!

Would I reread this book? I already have. And I´ll do it over and over again.

Would I recommend this book? Definitely.

The Cover – 5 stars ( What´s there to bitch about? Nothing. It´s an eye catcher and definitely different from all the other books I have on my shelf.)

The Story – 5 stars ( The author certainly didn´t reinvent the wheel but the story was beautifully told. It´s a romance. A proper romance. )

The Characters – 4 stars ( Frustrating. Both of them. But 100% lovable. And relatable. )

My emotional state after finishing this read – My emotions were shot after I finished `Love, Rosie`.

I´m giving `Love, Rosie` by Cecelia Ahern 5 out of 5 stars

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You can purchase this book in ebook, hardcover and paperback format on Amazon.com

New Book Box Instagram Features

Instagram- Oh, how I love you!

It´s been almost a year and I can say, without a doubt, that my Instagram project is the best thing that could have happened to me. I´ve met so many great people and have seen so many wonderful book recommendations….. It´s overwhelming in the best way possible! I´ve also learned that not everything has to be about promoting books. It´s also about capturing moments and making memories. I might have used my children once or twice, LOL…. but that, too, was worth it. Before I go all emotional on you guys…. let me show my latest Instagram creations…. Ready? I hope you enjoy. xoxo

Happt Thursday!!! Only one more day and I can do my official dance around the coffee table and celebrate the weekend again! 🤓😉😄 My lazy days will be well spent with reading and decorating the house for Halloween!🎃🕷🕸🦇 Which will be fun because people in my town don't really celebrate Halloween. Our house will be the only spooky looking house 😂 Which reminds me of a story I read a while back… 🎃BOOK BOX FEATURE🎃 for 'Beautiful Darkness' (Caster Chronicles #2) by Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl. Say what you want about this story… I think it's cute and so adventurous😄😍 Perfect time of the year for a reread, don't ya think? Okay, instapeople… I gotta get these million + reviews done. Hope you all enjoy your day. Share the 📖💜 . . . . . #autumn #pumpkin #bookstagram #books #ilovecolors #bookfeature #youngadult #fantasy #hardcoverbooks #beautifuldarkness #kamigarcia #bookphotography #germany

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Fall pic 2017.

She's weird, she's quirky, she's my baby. 💜 Caught her smelling my books… again. Life is never boring with that child💜💜 . I saw a post from my fellow ghettostagrammer @fetteredmatriarch and I was so touched by her personal #5piecesofselflove list. Kacy did amazing and I love her for being so brave to self- love.💗💗 . There's a fine line between self love and arrogance but Kacy nailed it. Self love is important for everyone. So, here are my #5piecesofselflove . . 💜 I love that I'm organized. Many have said that I have an OCD but in reality I just enjoy being organized. Makes my life easier. 💜I love my own food. Yupp. I'm a fab cook and can make a mean meal from scratch😉 💜I love that I'm a giver. Whether it's food or clothes or a helping hand… I give and it makes me feel good. 💜I love my "live and let live" mind-set. Having that makes room for the important things that really matter in life. 💜 I love that I'm fierce. I don't shy away from people or problems. I confront them with full force ASAP. Otherwise, I'll get more wrinkles than I already have. So, that's me. A short version of who I am. I wasn't always like this. It took time and alot of learning from mistakes but I got to the point where I truly love myself. I am the person I hope my girls look up to. I am the person I wish my girls will one day become. Because there is nothing in this world that should ever make them feel anything less than they are: kind, caring, curious, smart and full of love. Thank you @fetteredmatriarch for the post and tag😙😙 Should anyone want to add their own 2 cents or would like to participate then feel free to tag me so I can read all your beautiful self love posts 💗💗💗💗 @woodiesreads . . . . . #books #bookblog #booktag #selflove #girls #mybaby #booksmell #weirdkid #bibliophile #bookworld #bookaddict #bookstagram #booknerd #paperback #germany #bookphotography #booksandkids #instabook #instaread #inspriation #lifegoals #bookworm #bookpic #blackandwhite

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This. I love this so much. My youngest daughter, Lillian Elizabeth, smelling books. She does that from time to time and I don´t stop her. Lol. Everyone needs something awkward to do, right?

**Warning** Excuse the post below. Emotions always run wild when talking about this BOOK BOX FEATURE💗. Happy Sunday, everyone! 🤓So, today… it dawned on me that I haven't shared my absolute fav romance with you guys. Okay… ready? BRACE yourselves, my dear friends, because I am going to go all bat-shit crazy over this one. *35 yr old getting ready to act like a loon* 'Thoughless' by @sc_stephens_ 💗 I swear by all that's pink and fluffy… he is THE ONE. *insert Bang Bang song* *imagine my emotional breakdown* BOOK BF GALORE! HE'S GENTLE. HE'S GOT FIRE. HE'S EMOTIONAL. HE'S BEAUTIFUL. HE'S A MUSICIAN. HE'S GOT STYLE. HE'S…. good Lord, PERFECT. 😍😭🙈😔🤓😂😊💗💗😘 And for the story- I think it's brilliantly told. What a mental love triangle! And… besides Outlander… the most reread story EVER! If you haven't already.. you need to check these books out. So much LOVE and PAIN… OKIDOKI, people… hope you all have a lovely day! And don't forget to share the book love! 📚💗 . . . . . #bookfeature #bookaddict #youngadult #romance #ilovebooks #love #lovetriangles #kellankyle #scstephens #heartbreak #paperback #series #books #addictedtoreading #favoritebook #bookphotography #bookpic #bookish #feature #igreads #bookstagram #bloggersofinstagram #instabook #outdoor #fangirl #havingamoment #bookboyfriend #booksbooksbooks #read #recommended

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This pic has made my top 10 list of fav´s.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying". 🖤 One of my fav quotes by Stephen King. Those words were an eye opener 👀 during a time in my life where I felt the pressure of trying to be the perfect mother, perfect wife and perfect everything else. I've heard those words so often in my life but when I truly HEARD them I realized I didn't want to be perfect. I didn't need to be. I like to think that that was the moment I began to live.🖤 Do you have a quote that changed your life, opened your eyes or made any other impact on you? 🖤🖤 . . . . . #wordporn #quotes #words #meaning #lifechanging #openyoureyes #bookstagram #books #paperbacks #bookish #baskets #bookphotography #bookpic #lit #read #igreads #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #igbooks #bibliophile #instalike #instapic #stephenking #notsoperfect #bookrelated #ihavelivedathousandlives #bookworm #bookninja #bookishgirl #question

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Don´t ask. I had a hard time getting those baskets into place. The rest is just exhausting but it was worth the effort.

⭐PARENT FAIL⭐BOOK AWESOMENESS⭐ 😂🙈My oldest daughter ( 10 yrs ) got caught reading her book during class today. I asked her why she wasn't paying attention in school (as she should have) and her answer was; "Mom, you told me you read so you can escape real life without having to go anywhere. That's what I told my teacher. I wanted to escape Math class without having to leave." 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 These are the moments I don't know if I should give her a high five or not. #books #booksandchildren #bookishgirl #girl #imintrouble #lordhelpme #awesome #proudmommymoment #read #bookish #thethingskidssay #mommysfootsteps #instapic #bookstagram #parentfail #bookstagram #bookblog #bookblogger #bloggerlove #blog #smartass #truth #school #📚 #bookworm #book #instalike #instablogger #germany

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My favorite. Everything I love in one picture. My two girls and books. ❤

 

 

Book Editing Ignored

I´m in no way a writer. I have never studied anything that comes close to literature, nor have I spent my free time trying to be overly intelligent in any way. I write about books because it´s a great thing to do that doesn´t require any qualifications at all. Anyone can blog ( apparently…* giggle * ). But not everyone can edit a book.

Self-publishing might have alot of perks but it does have one major downside: Self-publishing writers have to edit their stories themselves before they put them up for sale

read the pro´s and con´s for self-publishing here.

 

And it often shows.

Many self-published authors fail to see the importance of a proper, professional book polish. Why?

Well, money is an issue. Some authors can´t afford a professional editor. Some authors are too cheap to invest in a professional. Some think it´s not important at all. Some believe they can polish their book themselves. For whatever reason… it´s wrong not to have a book looked over by someone who can work book magic.

Here´s how it usually works with self-published authors who want to sell their books. They often chose a path that´s more convenient for themselves ( mentally and financially) and depend on other sources:

Step 1 ) Author writes a great story

Step 2 ) Author wants to publish said story but wants it polished before they hit the upload button.

Step 3 ) Author checks out pricing for editors and has a near death experience because they find out how much editors cost

Step 4 ) Author becomes frustrated and searches the internet for someone who´ll edit for pennies or who´ll edit for free ( because they want their books on the market ASAP).

Step 5 ) Author tries to edit without help, becomes impatient then hits a fan/ blogger up who gladly offer their non-existing services as an editor ( Or, blogger / fan offers to edit ).

Step 6 ) Impatient author blindly trusts the so-called- professionals and hits the publish button.

Step 7 ) Author waits for a miracle to happen.

Might I add that not all sel-published authors go down that road but many do. I´ve seen it happen. Not only once, but hundreds of times throughout a 7 year blogging career.

Ever wonder why the book you spent money on had tons of typos and mistakes? Yeah.

I´m not criticizing self-published authors for wanting to save money. In fact, I understand why. Professional editors are expensive. I´m only criticizing the fact that I´m paying for books that are poorly edited. Because, at the end of the day, it´s my money I´m spending.

And when I´m distracted by more than 10 editorial issues while reading a story then I´ll become an unhappy reader. An unhappy reader who´ll write a review and gladly point out the mistakes.

But most self-published authors don´t realize the importance of a readers opinion ( should a reader ever publish their opinions ). Most self-published writers have their focus on making money and maybe make a living off of writing. That´s the dream and it will unfortunately stay a dream.

I´m sad to say- That´s not how it works. Yet, I do know how it works….

Crappy edited story = High risk of receiving negative feedback

Negative feedback influences sales.

My best advice for newbie writers, or self-published authors who rather not invest money: INVEST money in a professional editor ( or someone who has years of experience in editing). And if you can´t invest then start saving money. It´ll hurt, for sure, to spend all that money on someone who „only“ polishes a book, but in the endgame… it´s worth it. The money invested will be well spent, because there´s nothing worse than having people notice unwanted issues.

No one ever said that self-publishing would be cheap. An author has to invest anyways because every stinking detail that´s connected to self-publishing costs money. Print, paper quality, book cover, print size, ink, etc etc… Why not save up for someone who can help to fulfill a dream?

As for the bloggers who offer their editorial service… They fascinate me. Not only do they write reviews, they also host blog tours, manage book signings, work as PA´s for authors AND they have the ability to edit a book. All for free.

Those bloggers who do want money for their non-professional work aren´t doing self-publishing authors any favors. They´re not doing me any favors either because I demand a better edited book if I´m supposed to pay $12- $16 for a paperback.

The struggle is real and I see it. But what about a readers struggle? Reading can be an expensive hobby, especially for avid readers. Alot of readers have a book spending budget and when they purchase a 350 page book for $12.00 and get a poorly edited story then that´s just rude. That´s called ripping someone off.

Bottom line is: No one can polish a book better than a professional editor or someone who has years of experience in editing and knows their way around the profession. Multitasking bloggers don´t have that know-how. Fans don´t either.

Authors should shine through their work. Not look like fools who want to make a quick buck.

Next up: Weird Book Heros

Book Review- Midnight Caller by N.J. Cole

Book Description

Rebecca Summers enjoys pleasing herself with the curtains open. When a mysterious stranger calls to tell her that he is watching, fantasy becomes reality as she begins to perform for him. Following his instructions over the phone while he watches from afar, she finds herself craving more.

Oliver Durant has always been drawn to humans to exert the dominance and control his kind needs to feel alive. While secretly observing her and calling nightly, he can’t seem to get enough of Rebecca, whom he refers to as butterfly. His urges with her are stronger than the need to dominate, as he is driven to possess her in every way.

Both of their worlds are turned upside down when they finally meet and she agrees to enter into a Dominant/submissive relationship with her Midnight Caller

My Thoughts

Let´s keep this short and painless.

A slight waste of my time.

It´s really disappointing because I expected something completely different when I started reading `Midnight Caller` by author N.J. Cole. I expected a BDSM romance. A well written story that would knock me out of my panties. Well, I sure did get knocked out of my underwear- just not in a good way.

Some scenes were okay- even sexy as hell. But one tiny, little piece of info was NOT included in the book description and that killed the story for me. midnight caller

The moment I found out the Hero was an alien, I actually voiced a „ WTF?“ louder then I intended too. I don´t know about all the other readers who read Midnight Caller, but I wasn´t too extatic reading about an alien dominating. That was, in my opinion, far from sexy. If I wanted to read a sci-fi BDSM romance, I would have looked for one. But I didn´t, so why did I end up reading this book? Because someone forgot to mention the sci-fi part.

I see aliens as creatures who kidnap people at an unholy hour and experiment on them. OR….I just imagine Ridley Scott´s movie, Alien. Remember that scary piece of lump from outer space who used people as hosts or killed them, because…..that´s what aliens do? THAT`S how I see an alien. They don´t screw like Gods. So, no matter how hot the sexy scenes were…..I had such a hard time getting into the mindset I was supposed to go in. I cannot, for all that´s pink and fluffy, wrap my head around that one.

The characters, Rebecca and Oliver did´t do anything for me. Sure, I realized that what they had was supposed to be fantabulous and all, but I felt no connection to either of them, nor did I feel a connection between those characters. I blame it on the alien issue.

I can see why alot of readers loved this book. It WAS hot. It WAS unique. And it WAS out of this world. It was just too out-of-this-world for me. At the end….I didn´t like the whole thing.

If Oliver was a human this story would have been a tad better, but not much .

There is a second book available but I think I´ll pass.

Note to myself: For the future- double check if the book has aliens in it before buying.

Would I re-read this book? Uuhm, nope.

Would I recommend this book? I´m not sure. I´m leaning towards „no“.

 

The Cover- 2 stars ( The cover is too dark ((both old and new)). It´s not really eye- catchy either.)

The Story- 2 stars ( I can´t deal with aliens. That´s just too far away from anything I like.)

The Characters – 2 stars ( Where to start? Where to end? Totally 2 dimentional. Unlikable.)

My emotional state after finishing this read- Fed up.

I´m giving `Midnight Caller` by N.J. Cole 2 out of 5 stars.

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You can purchase this book on Amazon.com by clicking here.

Why Book Reviews Aren´t What They Should Be

I think it’s safe to say that alot of people know what book reviews are, so no use to give a deeper explanation for that term.

But what is a review for?

Well, to keep this simple- reviews are there for indecisive people who search for a good book to read( and to help authors with sales ).Or, sometimes not help them ( depending on the reviews content). Either way- reviews are important. ( read 5 Reasons Why Book Reviews Are Important )

But, did you know reviews can also be corrupt? Oh, yes. Quite so.

There are 2 major types of reviews.

1 )reviews

2 ) do-me-a-favor-reviews / help-me-climb-the-ladder-to-success-reviews

Confusing? It shouldn’t be. An author usually has a goal, and that is to make a living off of writing and that’s perfectly fine. If it were up to me I’d wish everyone the success they want. Unfortunately, the road to that success can be a rocky one. There’s so much to do to get „out there”. Writing a book and hoping for a miracle to happen doesn’t cut it anymore.

 Writing a book and hoping for a miracle to happen doesn't cut it anymore

Authors/ writers depend on one major thing- positive feedback. The more positive feedback they get the better their chances are for more exposure. Word can spread really fast and that helps loads.

(Uugh…this is boring……* head against table * )

I like to say I’m a skilled book ninja. I have my eyes and ears all over the place, especially in the indie-author community. When blogging I keep an eye on all sorts of stuff, such as: new book releases, blog tours, author streetteams, yada yada yada, AND reviews. Yes. I read reviews, too. And due to my ninja observation skills I know who’s besties with who and who’s fan #1. If you take a closer look I’m sure you’ll notice, too. 

Can anyone remember the shitstorm Amazon caused with their taking down reviews from certain books? Yes. That was a thing and it pissed so many people off. I would know. I witnessed it, first hand. Amazon never took any of my reviews down ( Thank God ) but they did with other bloggers and fans. And guess what? Bravo! It was about time. Not that I´m pointing fingers at anyone in particular. I´m sure many deleted Amazon reviews were wrongly accused of diabolical review-washing. But the majority? Serves them right. 

I’m positive that won’t win me any plus points. But I don’t really care. When I hunt for books I’m just an ordinary reader. And when I notice someone is just doing an author a favor my blood pressure rises. How am I to trust these people who devote their lives to these authors? Their judgement is clouded in so many ways that their reviews aren’t trustworthy anymore.

Sure, I’m all for supporting my favorite authors. But stay realistic. Stay professional.

I’ve seen people befriend authors ( mainly through Facebook ) and get really REALLY tight with them ( again…that’s fine. Anything that floats their boats). And then I’ve seen those authors publish book after book after book and each book got the same LOVE as the ones before, by the same people. An author can write 12 books ( each with different stories ) in a year and still, they’d get 12 outstanding reviews from the same blogs who are oh-so-tight with them. Something is totally fishy there. There is no way a person will LOVE everything an author writes. No-ho! 

It’s impossible. There always a slower book in-between great books. A story that, in truth, deserved 3 stars because it was, in fact, slower, or a bit more softer, or just not someone´s cup of tea. Any normal thinking person would rate the slower book with 3 stars ( or less) because that’s how they actually felt about the story, no matter how much they loved the authors other books. But, nooooooo.Some bloggers / fans feel so much loyalty towards an author that they feel compelled to give the slower book 5 stars.

Why does that happen? Do readers/ bloggers think their friendship will go down the drain if they’re honest? Or does it have anything to do with stupidity? I. Don’t. Know! You tell me. But something is definitely not right there.

I’m not sure if that can be considered as healthy behavior.

Would you like to know what helps me pick a book? I skip all the 5 star reviews and jumped right to the 3 or fewer ones. I’m not saying that all high rated reviews are full of shit, but can you blame me for doubting them? Reading a 3 star review will not convince me NOT to buy a book because tastes are different. It’s as simple as that.

I know I shouldn’t waste my time breaking my little head over the review matter, because it’s really not worth it. Reviews are… subjective. I’ve wasted so much energy trying to figure out why bloggers aren’t fully honest with their thoughts regarding a book * sigh *. But you’ve got to see my point of view, here- I want to read a book and the only way not to dive blind into a story is to read reviews and see how others judged a book. And people who do authors those stupid favors ( because they want recognition or what not) aren’t helping me, or any other book nerd out there.

That’s basically why I was happy about the Amazon clean-out.

The book universe is sometimes a dark place. Bloggers doing authors favors because they’re afraid to jeopardize their friendship is not okay. 

There was a time, way back in the early blogging days, when bloggers helped authors get reviews by doing so called blog tours for their favorite writers. Blog tours are nothing other than a virtual book promotion where often free copies of a story were/are offered. The only thing wrong with those blog tours were / are… a reviewer CANNOT publish a review with less than 3 stars, depsite what their true thoughts of said book were/are. Anything to avoid a bad review. So, a reviewer either lies or they don´t review at all and risk a potential shout out from the blog tour hosts. I call that…. corrupt. And wrong.
Another observation I made:
Authors releasing new books and bluntly asking for 5 star reviews. Because a 4 star review isn´t going to make sales. * holding breath * The same authors then wonder why hardly any people leave reviews.  That screams desperate.

This is also the main reason why I believe honesty is the best policy. State your real opinions instead of doing favors. 

And for the authors who are hungry for fame….. The big shot writers often have alot of negative reviews along with the 5 stars. That´s definitely something to think about.

It´s amazing to watch authors and their devoted fans go to such extremes. But it´s less amazing when you spot the lie.

I feel cheated on. Ripped off.

REVIEW- After Series (book #1-#5) by Anna Todd

Collective Review

After ( After #1 )
After We Collided ( After #2 )
After We Fell ( After #3 )
After Ever Happy ( After #4 )
Before ( After #5 )

 

It´s taken me years to come up with reasonable words that sum up my feelings towards the `After` series by Anna Todd. Because, the ugly truth is – I couldn´t come up with anything better than swear words to describe my emotions.

Now, before I begin with my actual review I´d like to mention that before I started this series I was oblivious to everything that was associated with this story. All I knew was that the story was originally published on the online writing platform, Wattpad.

That was it. I never heard of Anna Todd nor have I heard of the sensation this story was supposed to be. It was by accident that I found the „After“ series.

Later on ( after finishing the fourth book ) I was informed that `After` is a fan fiction romance and that Harry Styles, from the band 1 Direction, was the inspiration for the male protagonist.

I didn´t know who Harry Style was and I had absolutely no clue who 1 Direction ( or 1D) were. After a quick google check I wasn´t any smarter. I figured it didn´t matter. Nothing could have changed my opinion towards the story, or should I say – nothing could have made me think better or worse of what I forced myself to finish.

 

Staring with book #1, After… I have to admit that I liked it alot. I´m not a huge fan of college romances but I liked how the story started and how it ended.

A well protected wallflower falls for rude, mysterious bad boy. after

What´s unique about this story is that the main characters, Tessa and Hardin, are polar opposites who shouldn´t even be near each other. Two extreme youngsters who can´t seem to stay away from one another. The story has mean – as – shit college students, lots of pre-adult drama and a bet that could break whatever the hell these 2 characters have for each other. The key word is: could. There wouldn´t be more books if the bet had ripped the characters apart for good. There´s alot going on and there´s tension. An entertaining story with so much potential.

Like I said- I liked book #1. I just wish I could say the same for the rest of the books.

 

With `After We Collided`, book #2, Tessa and Hardins story continues. After a relationship hiccup the couple tries to sort themselves and have a steady relationship. Little do they know how hard it is to be together, especially when one is a complete harm to society.

I self diagnosed the Hero, Hardin, in this book. In book one I truly bought the bad boy act but since his behavior didn´t really improve I began to think he had more than just a few screws missing.After 2

A few things come to my mind when I think of Hardin: alcoholic, abusive, antisocial personality disorder and bastard. Because he is all those things covered by a pretty face of a college student. It´s plain to see that he has / had issues. In book #1 a reader gets to accompany the main characters and live the ups and downs, back and forth with them. In book #2…. nothing changes. Tessa and Hardin are two „kids“ stuck in an awkward nightmare relationship where both have no bloody clue as to how things work. A reader does get to meet the sub characters a little more, which is good. But the rest? Screw ups after screw ups, heartbreak and tears…. it was time to see some happiness happen for these characters. 671 pages full of „Why the hell isn´t she leaving him??“

My final thoughts on `After We Collided`: After reading such an intense story with such intense characters in book #1 I hoped there would be some character development in book #2. There was none. But… there was more emotional abuse. So much that I felt the need to open a bottle of wine afterwards just so I could digest the catastrophe I read.

`After We Fell`, book #3. An 834 page long book. The book is just as thick as the bricks we used to build our house with. 834 pages of repetitive emotional abuse. After 3 Tessa and Hardin continue their abusive / back and forth relationship. But this time it´s painful for a reader to witness the mind fucking going on between the main characters and how they pulled other family members into their world of fuck ups. Family and friends of Tessa and Hardin also suffer under the hands of Hardin. He´s a ticking time bomb. He has anger issues. He´s afraid of losing the one thing he can emotionally torture. Hardin claims he loves Tessa but still breaks a piece of her every time he fucks up.

I couldn´t believe I sat through another book that had NO character development, what-so-ever. I got the picture: Hardin wasn´t healthy in any way, on any level. Hardin´s behavior took it´s toll on Tessa and I was so waiting for her to wake up and smell the roses. She needed to get rid of him. Actually, that needed to happen during book #1. After I finished book #3 I opened another bottle of wine.

The new relationship status from Hardin and Tessa: An apocalyptic catastrophe.

`After Ever Happy`, book #4, was the book that finally cracked my calm. I was fuming. I shook my head through 512 pages because there was nothing else I was able to do. Tessa and Hardin- they had ANOTHER life/relationship challenge. Another one. Or, let´s say… they had a few more and those challenges were such a waste of my time because 80% of those challenges were recaps of the ones from the previous books. After 4

My hopes for a character development were shot to the moon after book #3 but I still had a tiny bit of hope that there would be some sort of a happy ever after ( because the title does hint it ). A reader does get a sloppy version of a happy ever after. You get approximately 450 pages of emotional disaster with the main characters and then it´s fast forward from then on.

BAM –  you see the characters do this.

BAM – you see the characters do that.

BAM – BAM – BAM – BAM – BAM.

There´s no time for a reader to process all the info shoved in our faces.

The pace of the ending can be compared to the recent season 7 of Game of Thrones. We got 6 seasons of drawn out info and a super speedy season 7.

(NOTE: I love Game of Thrones and would normally never compare the genius of a story to the After series, except when referring to the pace. I´m probably going to go to hell for even mentioning GoT in this review. )

Anyways- the finale ending of the After series… A full-blown disappointment. So disappointed that I returned book #4. I don´t want to have a book like that on my kindle.

My overall feelings towards this series: A big fat NOPE.

It´s unnecessarily complicated, the Hero is abusive, the relationship Hardin and Tessa have is over the top unhealthy. What they have is a twisted sense of reality. There´s nothing remotely romantic about 2 young adults acting the way they did. The story was a train wreck I should have looked away from.

 

But wait… there´s one more. Yupp. I kid you not. There´s a 5th book in the series.

`Before` ( After #5 ) and it´s the story of Hardin´s life before he permanently ruined Tessa´s life.After 5

I didn´t even try to read it. Why would I? A reader can make their own picture of Hardin´s past and readers definitely find out the true reason behind his abusive behavior in book 3 & 4. I´m really not interested in further details. My guess is that the author wrote this book for her dedicated fans, which is fine. Only I´m not interested in spending another dime on this story and I´m not interested in spending more hours on reading about a glorified prick.

 

So, there we have it. Not everything with the words `sensation`printed on it is actually a sensation. The only thing sensational about the After series is that so many people loved it.

 

Would I reread this series? Nope. Not now. Not ever again.

Would I recommend this series? No.

The Covers – 4 stars ( The covers have nothing to do with the story. They´re all actually pretty to look at )

The Story – 1 star ( No. Either I´m too old to appreciate the kind of twisted romance After is or I´m a different kind of romance reader. Either way- No. )

The Characters – 1 star ( The world doesn´t have enough wine to help me get over these kids)

My emotional state after finishing this read – I feel like I need to upgrade from wine to vodka.

 

I´m giving the whole `After`series by Anna Todd 1 out of 5 stars. 

Self Publishing vs. Traditional Publishing: Part One

To self publish or not to self publish.

That´s something I never had to ask myself because I´m not a writer, but many others have undoubtedly asked themselves if they should dive into self publishing or not.

Writers from all literature corners have, at some point, thought of the idea of publishing their own work, whether through traditional publishing or through self-publishing.

Both routes are fully acceptable these days, but before any writer choses a path to take they should definitely have a closer look at the pro´s and con´s of both traditional publishing and self publishing. Let´s do a quick breakdown to show the differences between the two and include pros and cons for both traditional publishing and self publishing:

Pros for Traditional Publishing

  • Marketing
  • Reach a wide audience, more exposure
  • Publishing houses often offer a financial advance
  • Publishing houses take care of edits, covers, etc.

Cons for Traditional Publishing

  • A writer hardly ( if at all, depending on the publisher) has a say ( in all areas)
  • Marketing runs at a snail’s pace
  • Royalty rates suck
  • It´s hard to get out of a contract

So basically, a writer´s hands are bound.

 

Pros for Self Publishing

  • You call the shots. You´re your own boss.
  • Publication is almost instantly
  • Royalty rates are higher
  • No rejections ( other than maybe from readers)

Cons for Self Publishing

  • No professional book polish ( no editing, no suitable cover image)
  • You have to do major self marketing
  • Potential for publishing a shitty book
  • Literally, anyone can self publish

It all comes down to having all the freedom in the world but also investing an outrageous amount of time doing self promotion because.. since you´re your own boss you have to do every stinking thing yourself.

If I was in a writer´s position I would definitely go with the traditional route. But that´s just me. Since I´m not a writer it´s not important what I would do, right?

A simple fact is: It´s hard getting a deal with a publishing house and it´s easy as hell to self publish.

Doing business with hundreds of self published writers did reveal an awful lot, but what the years of observation have shown was that many self published authors struggle.

And the struggle is real.

Some authors don´t know how to market themselves or they find it extremely difficult.

Why is that?

Well, for one… most writers who go into self publishing and want to make a name for themselves know that they´re going to have to deal with marketing but they don´t know how hard it is.

Imagine you wrote a book and you set your mind of self publishing. Great. But what steps need to be done?

Is your book edited? If not, it should be. You don´t want to sell crap and no one wants to spend money on crap. A harsh truth alot of self published author´s don´t want to hear.

Is the book cover image eye-catchy and is the quality of the image good? If not, you might want to invest some money and get something that´ll make a reader want to buy your book. Many readers judge a book by it´s cover. ( read my article on book covers )

Once your book is properly looked over and the cover ( incl. the quality) is ready you still need readers.

Do you have fans? Without fans you have little to no sales. And without fans you have no one but yourself and maybe your mother to spread the word about your book.

Your book can be a genius piece of written art or a possible world-wide bestseller but that´s worth crap if you don´t have any readers.

You need a plan. A large one.

From what I´ve been able to learn was that self published authors NEED to interact with people. There´s no way around it. Writers must use the tools they´re given and start interacting with all sorts of people in order to get the marketing ball rolling.

Social media is the best place for that. Millions of book lovers hang around Facebook, Twitter & Co. and are dying to get their hands on a new book. Befriending authors is also a step in the right direction because other, more accomplished self published authors have the know-how and can help with fulfilling a dream of becoming a known writer. Contacting book blogs is another way. Us foot folk know how to spread the word in an effective way.

It sounds so easy. But then again- everything seems easy in theory. Contacting strangers is not always easy. It´s acutally awkward.

„Hey, we don´t know each other but I have a book and ( after a full-blown social media investigation) I know you like to read… So, do you wanna read my book?“

Yes. That´s awkward but with a little more tact there is a high chance of gaining potential readers that way.

When a writer has to do their own marketing that means nothing other than having to sell their own product. In this case, it´s their book. Selling a product involves having to interact with people.

A nightmare for introverts or moody artists.

Another thing most self published authors forget is that self marketing never stops. It´s a constant, never-ending cycle. Once the self marketing slows down or stops then that´s it. Everything else stops too.

It also doesn´t stop at the interacting, either. There´s a whole lot more to self marketing than a writer´s eye can meet. Writers need to become creative and find ways to keep the ball rolling. This can be done with simple posts of teasers from their book or maybe a graphic quote or possibly through another author promoting a new writer. Something that engages other people. There are ways to make self marketing fun and slightly easier but the key is: interaction.

It also can´t hurt to mention how much time self published writers need to invest on self marketing. Yes. Many writers would appreciate a day with more than 24 hours.

The reality of self publishing is completely different from what people might think. It´s not just going on some self publishing platform and uploading a story with over 60.000 words and calling it a day.

Of course, writers who chose the traditional path and get taken under the wings of a publishing house have it bit easier. They don´t have to worry about self marketing because that´s included in their package. All the fun( insert sarcasm) with having to deal with emotional stress, interacting with strangers and working on spreading the word falls in the hands of competent people who know how to work the book mill. It might not always be what the writer had planned but it´s one less thing to worry about.

Self publishing is hard work and we´ve only just scratched the surface of how hard and frustrating self publishing can really be. The only advice I can give to writers who are unsure of which publishing path to take is: Collect as much info as possible and weigh your options. See what works best.

Because if we´re honest- not everyone is capable of marketing themselves or their work. Not everyone is a social bunny. But if a writer wants to self publish then there´s no way around having to do some self marketing. But when someone is good at marketing themselves then self publishing can be a joy and fun all around.

Coming next: Self Published Authors, Part Two: Book Pricing

Review: Breaking Gravity ( Fall Back Series #2) by Autumn Grey

Book Description

I’ve always followed my dreams with ruthless determination.
My life was going well. Success was at my fingertips.
Until it wasn’t.
All it took was three seconds to send my world crashing down around me, 
ripping my dreams to shreds.
Then I meet her, with her large hazel eyes that slay me at first glance.
And everything starts to make sense again.
I try to keep my distance.
To remind myself I am her mentor.
That we can’t be more, 
but every time I push away, I’m pulled deeper into her.
The line between student and teacher is blurring. 
One kiss. 
One taste. 
They’re all it would take to cross the line.

My Thoughts

This student / teacher romance definitely earned a place on my sacred bookshelf.

`Breaking Gravity` ( Fall Back Series #2 ) started out in a devastating light and ended with a beautiful warmth.Breaking Gravity

Nathaniel Rowe´s life will never be the same. Once a well-known professional cellist, now a damaged and crippled has-been who suffers from chronic pain and medication abuse. It took one unfortunate event to change his life and make Nathaniel a walking mess. With his career over and the love of his life gone there´s hardly anything left to live for. Until…

Nathaniel takes up a job as a temporary music professor at Rushmore college and becomes fascinated with a red-haired beauty, Elon… who also happens to be one of his students.

Now, I´m not a huge fan of student/teacher romances because they somehow always end the same way. A story about a forbidden by law love is bound to end in a catastrophe. It´s kind of like watching a train wreck happening in slow motion. You know it´s gonna be ugly. You know the outcome.. Everything starts out as a one time thing. A secret. Then the secret turns into an affair. Soon, a best friend finds out and then others become suspicious. The secretive couple gets exposed. One loses a job. The other gets kicked out of school, yada yada yada.

For some reason, `Breaking Gravity` wasn´t entirely like that. So, the student / teacher story wasn´t new…. but the flair the story gave off was refreshing. Both main characters have dealt with unimaginable pain in their pasts and yet both weren´t completely unwilling to move forward, despite knowing about the consequences of their actions. They had something to look forward to: seeing each other.

I was rooting for the main characters. It took me a lot of will power not to get out the pompoms and cheer for Nate and Elon. I actually wanted the characters to get exposed as quick as possible because they fit so beautifully together.

What I loved most about the story was the fact that the author approached different real life issues, such as: death, abuse and addiction. The author´s ability to let her characters suffer from these issues was wild. It made her characters feel more authentic / realist and relatable. And it made them 100% lovable.

Do Nate and Elon live happily ever after? Or will life force them apart?

Read it and find out for yourself. I can say, without a doubt, that this is my favorite student / teacher romance.

`Breaking Gravity` is a warming, beautiful, swoon worthy, hot and full of hope romance that´ll stick to a reader like glue for weeks after reading.

Would I recommend this book? Yes!

Would I reread this book? I already have…* smile *

The Cover – 5 stars ( I have been gushing over this cover weeks before I even bought the book. Such a beautiful and unique image. There was no way I was not going to have this book.)

The Story – 4 stars ( Student / Teacher romances don´t usually float my boat but this story did.)

The Characters – 5 stars ( Nate was the perfect Hero. Ruined, moody, passionate, hot. Every woman needs a Nate in their lives. Elon was an equally perfect character. Loving, clever, guarded, witty. What more can I ask for? Nothing.)

My emotional state after finishing this read? Totally, utterly, 100% happy and satisfied.

I´m giving `Breaking Gravity` by author Autumn Grey 4 out of 5 stars.

Instagram Book Box Feature

°•○BOOK BOX FEATURE○•° This came in the mail today and I couldn't wait to share this beauty with you guys. 'Breaking Gravity' by the wonderful @autumngreyauthor. This is one of those covers you can admire all night long *dreamy sigh* So mesmerising. If you don't hear or see anything from me then I'm either swooning or reading. Have a fab day and don't forget to share the 📚🖤 . . . . . #bookpic #bookaholic #addictedtoreading #addictedtobooks #bookaddict #booknerd #bookwhore #bookjunkie #bookninja #libraryofinstagram #igreads #igbooks #bookstagram #instaread #iaminlove #booklove #books #paperback #bookphotography #pages #author #outdoor #booksbooksbooks #bibliophile #beautifulcovers #coverpic #prettybooks #📚 #germany #bücherwurm

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This book can be purchased at Amazon.com

Latest Instagram Features from Morgana´s Book Box

It´s time for a few honorable Instagram Book Box Feature mentions!

I proudly present my recent works. Lots of love, sweat, energy, yelling at the dog, telling my kids not to run on the road, fighting with wind, rain and heat were invested in creating these pics. Have a look…. 🙂

Happy Saturday, everyone!🌸 My neighbor caught me examining her flowers today from my kitchen window and invited me to pick a few, even offered me the whole bush as it annoys her😂. So- a purple 💜BOOK BOX FEATURE💜 it is today. Let's give it up for one of my favorite books by @pccastauthor – 'Devine By Mistake' (Partholon #1). Such a beautiful story worth losing yourself in. Okay, chichas… gotta run. Hope you all have a lovely day. Don't forget to share the 📖💜! . . . . #bookstagram #libraryofinstagram #love #fantasy #paranormal #read #book #paperback #series #pccast #partholon #bookworm #bookpic #bookphotography #purple #flowers #bookishfeatures #feature #saturdaynight #germany #bookjunkie #ilovebooksmorethanpeople #bookstagrammer #bookblogger #instablog #instablog #readingissexy #magical #📚

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*waves enthusiastically* Hey all you lovely people! How's it going? Enjoying the heat?☉ I've been hiding in the shade reading one 📖 after another and contemplated on buying a sombrero ( I burn poorly while tanning. Life's such a bitch) Anyways… while hiding i managed to get a ☆☆BOOK BOX FEATURE☆☆ done. ' Verführt' (Colours of Love) by Kathryn Taylor. All in all a nice read. Keeo sharing the 📚💓 . . . . #romance #lovestory #love #books #bücher #lesen #read #leseratte #bücherwurm #suckerforromance #igreads #libraryofinstagram #ilovebooks #bookstagram #bookworm #booknerd #bookwhore #bookjunkie #bookninja #bookcover #📚 #liebe #androidphotography #s7 #bookphotography #bookpic #bookfeature #germany #read

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Happy Monday! 🤓What to do with your kids and their friend when they're bored as hell? You force all 3 to sit and pose for a book box pic😂 Yes. I was deeply hated before/during/after this pic. Was it worth it? Definitely! I'm in love. ( btw- left and center are mine ) Hope you all enjoy your day and don't forget to share the 📚💜! . . . . . #instakids #childrensbooks #kidsandbooks #mygirls #bookbuddies #bookstagram #bookbesties #bookfriends #readingbooks #androidphotography #bookworm #books #booklove #paperback #bookstagrammers #instabooks #igreads #bookphotography #fortheloveofreading #outdoors #kinder #mädchen #lesenmachtglücklich #buchliebe #bookgram #lesenmachtschlau #germany #📚 #lesen #monday

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What do you think?

Feel free to find and stalk me on Instagram under Morgana´s Book Box and leave a like and comment! If not, then I might cry a round or two then I´ll get over it.

Hope you all have a lovely day! Don´t forget to share the book love!

Ridiculous Book Sex

Alas, a subject I have been dying to write about. A topic that needs further discussion.

Sex in books.

Romance readers want to have a good time while reading. They want the heartache, the sappy moments, etc. If a romance has the whole package, including good sex scenes, then it´s a total win for us readers.

Reality has taught us that sex can be loads of fun ( If done right, of course. ) and reading about it in a book that has a drop-dead-gorgeous male protagonist in it makes the head theater much more fun.

When I´m reading an erotic romance I´m literally waiting for a good sex scene with great sex. You know- the mind-blowing kind. The kind of sex in books that take a reader to a complete new level of horniness. I´m not talking about reading a porn….I´m referring to a romance / erotica novel that has sex in it. ( okay….maybe erotica novels come pretty close to porn, or not. What do I know?!)

In my opinion – reading about sex cannot be compared to pornography because… Well, characters in books have background stories and go through emotional highs and lows. Porn doesn´t. Although, my husband disagrees with me on that one. Just the other day he tried to convince me that porn movies have an actual plot. * Hangs head * Romance novels keep it real to a certain extent.

ANYWAYS…. Back to book sex:
I bow before any author who writes about sex. Period. I cannot imagine how hard it is to write about 2 people screwing and gushing their feelings for each other. Some authors have so much talent in that department. I often ask myself if those scenes came from personal experience or if it´s just a thought up scene. Imagined. Either way…..I love extremely well written, fully described, sensual, intimate sex scenes in novels. Nothing makes me more happy to know someone put a lot of thought into a scene like that. It´s actually pretty cool if you think about it.

But then there are authors who just write about sex. You know…..the questionable kind. The kind that puts huge question marks on my panties instead of making them change their color.

Now- this is a subject we all can discuss to no end because everyone has a different opinion on what good sex is. Which is fine by me. We all have different tastes, right? I´m not judging anyone if they like to read about any type of bed sports. To each is their own. But in some cases ( no matter what kind of sex I´m talking about) the sex is too much to take in. It´s also almost tacky. Tasteless. 

Authors often over-do it with their sex scenes. I´m not talking about all authors. I´m only referring to 75% of self published writers who include sex in their romances.

I consider myself still young, with being 35. I´m practically living in the best years of my life. But not even I find it sexy to read about characters who screw at every given opportunity. I can´t, by all that´s holy, visualize a sex marathon that goes on and on and on without feeling some sort of mental exhaustion after a while.

You have to keep in mind that I´m 35, not 20. I have a hard time keeping up with fictional characters these days because all they want to do is have sex. Even if I wanted to, I couldn´t have as much sex as book characters have. It´s as if these fictional characters are trying to compete with rabbits.

I know that the stories I read ( especially in the romance/erotica world) aren´t meant to be realistic. Still…..cut me some slack here- At some point, a Heroine has to start walking like John Wayne after she´s been well screwed / shagged / fucked by the sex-God from down the road. I´d definitely need a weeks worth of bed rest if were a female protagonist from any sex loaded novel.

I live in Europe…which means people over here are confronted with sex on a daily basis in a healthy way. Sex is apart of life. No need to shut up about it.   Either people like it kinky, or they don´t. No one is utterly fazed or shocked over here. So, before anyone gives me the ” Prude” stamp- keep in mind that I´m as open-minded as anyone can be. You cannot shock me with sexual acts or dirty talk, or what-not. I just do not appreciate bad / too much sex in a book. That just distracts from the actual plot. Or a terrible dialogue, for that matter.

An author can make their characters as kinky as they want them to be…I still don´t think anyone or anything should have sex 20 times a day, as some authors LOVE to make their characters do. That just…..hurts to think about.

 

And, please, * slamming hands on table, leaning forward, giving the stern look*, what is it with the Dialogue during sex scenes? Has anyone noticed how the majority of romance / erotica heros do the ultimate „ You´re so wet for me“ line?

Or, wait! I got a better one!

“Come for me, baby“  *shaking head* Am I the only one who noticed those two sentences in almost EVERY romance / erotica novel lately?

It´s not the sentences alone that are terrible. It´s the fact that those sentences come up in every damn sex scene. Let´s say characters X and Y are having sex for the first time. And all of a sudden X says: „ Oh, you´re so wet for me.“ Okay. It´s a line that isn´t original, but it´s still okay. If an author believes those words must be included, fine.

When X and Y have sex the second and third time ( in the same night, day, week ), X says the same words to Y. Uuhm… * scratching head * Does Y need a bucket because she´s so wet? Should X fetch the Tupperware just in case?

Obviously, X can´t get over the fact that Y gets wet! Y get´s utterly wet as soon as X touches her! Y is leaking.

And when X commands Y to orgasm ( or better…to come – to cum ) Y magically orgasms. Every single time! Some ladies might find that ” to orgasm ” on command is a hard task to do. But who am I kidding * wave off * I´m thinking way to realistic. What do I know, right?

Let´s rehash-

X is fascinated by the fact that Y gets so wet for him all the time that he needs to announce it.

Y can orgasm on command effortlessly because X is DA SHIT!

Let´s do a real life version of a novel sex scene ( of course, a woman has a few options on how to respond to the magic words)-

Guy: „ oh, Baby….you´re so wet for me.“

Woman: ( option nr. 1 ) „ U-huh.“

Woman: ( option nr .2 ) „ Really? How bad is it down there?“

Woman: ( option nr. 3 ) „ Yeah, I´m so wet for you.“

Or the woman might not give any answer and enjoy what´s bound to happen.

Guy: „ You want to come? Then come, NOW!“

Woman: „ Hold on…I´m almost there…“

Guy: „ No. I want you to come, NOW“

Woman: „ I can´t now. Just keep doing what you´re doing…almost there…“

Guy: ” NOW! Damn it ! N.O.W! Why can´t you orgasm on command?!“

Woman: „ Because I´m NOT  Y from those non-unique sex scenes!!!!“

Do you see my point? A dialogue like that can make whatever feelings I developed disappear into thin air. Poof! Just like that. Gone.

It´s also just as cringe-worthy when the words „moist“ and „cream pie“ are over used. There must be a way to replace those words with something more… fitting? Moist are my kitchen towels after I dry the dishes. And cream pie…. it´s a pie or cake, for heaven’s sake.

And now- while we´re at it… Let us comb through the phrases used in sex scenes. Let´s call it the sex lingo.

Ready?

  • …she tasted like honey…..“ ( I guarantee you, no one tastes like honey down south. Male and female do NOT taste like honey. It´s just a fact. If it were true then you´d be seeing a lot more people going down and having a 3 course meal with „honey“)
  • .. until I finally found her secret center…“ ( A vagina isn´t Narnja. It´s not the rabbit hole that leads to Wonderland. It´s not Barbie´s secret garden, either)
  • …his maleness, passing the petal soft folds of her womanhood…“ ( No vagina lips can be compared to petals. Touch a rose petal then touch vagina lips. It ain´t possible. But touch a turkey´s overlapping skin on his neck and then try touching a vagina. And vagina lips don´t fold. They´re bunched in your underwear. )
  • … I was drowning in her juices…“ ( How many characters are leaking? )
  • …I was blinded as I soared over the edge…“ ( I never went blind before/during/after an orgasm. Maybe I´m doing something wrong? And I never soared anywhere except for the one time when I woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to turn on the bedroom light but missed the wall and switch and went „soaring“ towards the floor. That shit hurt.)

Why compare food and drinks to body fluids? Why not stick to the truth instead of misleading the innocent and giving them weird ideas? Am I thinking too realistic here?

Sometimes people don´t smell like Christmas spices when they pull down their underwear. I can already hear you say „ Eeeeew“ after reading that but it´s true. Any person who´s sexually active KNOWS the dark secrets of sex. And no author has interest in coloring out the harsh reality of event.

Most writers would rather have you believe it´s fabulous to give your partner a blowjob after being on the road for 12 hours with 3 bathroom breaks in between ( without the possibility to wash up..like, at all). There are no rose scents involved there, trust me. Yet, authors will have you believing that the sexual drive between their characters is greater than anything else. They let their characters focus on their lust and ignore the wet fox smell.

As you can probably tell by now, I´ve read some crazy stuff over the last few years and I have a strong feeling that nothing is going to change.

Can we just try to call „his sword“ a penis? Use cock, for all I care….but sword? And how about vagina instead of „where she was moist and desperate“? It´s a vagina. It´s a penis. Either you have one or the other. And maybe it´s a good time to mention that sex is fantastic but sex doesn´t always sell. 

I´m just afraid if young women ( who haven´t had sex yet) read those scenes….they´ll think it´s supposed to be like that in real life. * head against table*

Authors should try to come up with better lines. These people aren´t called artists for no reason. Authors have so many ideas and words to work with…. it should be a piece of cake to come up with something better than „You´re so wet for me.“. It´s really not funny anymore to read the same lines in 80% of all books I read.

This is not meant to discourage writers to include sex in their stories. This is meant to help spark their passion for finding better, more authentic words for their scenes.