The Spam Treasure Box: Part Three

Heya! Welcome back to The Spam Treasure Box special!

I guess I can go ahead and announce that I´ll be doing a monthly Spam Treasure feature from now on. How cool! Seriously, folks… The spam comments I´m getting are too hilarious. Far too hilarious to delete. There´s just no way I can ignore these because some of these are just too good to be true.

So, now it´s official. Be prepared for future spam post features!

 

For those who have no flipping clue what this is about: These are screenshots from my spam comments. No more info is needed. 🙂 If you end up enjoying these spams you also might want to check out my previous treasures Spam Box Treasures and More From The Spam Treasure Box. Trust me… they´re fab in their own special way.

So, now that we have that settled.. Why don´t we dive right in and see what my spam folder had to offer this month.

Ready?

 

 

  1. You needed 2 solid days for a 16 page children´s book? 

spammish1

 

 

2. Daddy, even the neighbor´s cat left town because of Larry´s worship singing. Do something! 

spammish 2

 

 

3. So, the Bible has a talking snake but it´s not once mentioned what toys Mary and Joseph played with? Pfft. ( taking 2 stars away from Bible rating ). Thank you, Larry, for pointing that major detail out for me. 

Spammish 3

 

 

4. Okay, Flossie. How about I check out your shoe collection and tell you how I can see the reason for why you´re still single?

spammish 4

 

5. What what what?? I did no such thing! And don´t you dare make use of my ideas. My pitch fork is polished and I´m not afraid to use it!

spammish 5

 

 

6. Hello MargaritaJuicy. I´m sure other blogs protect their existing content with pitch forks, too. Now, go away! 

spammish 7

 

 

7. Flossie, Margartia… See? This is how a spam needs to look like, you old hags! Irecssgsvaa… spam me anytime!

spammish 8

 

 

8. Jeanie, sorry to hear about the job you weren´t good at yet.

spammish 9

 

 

9. The conclusion? The supply? Am I at some weird drug dealer debate? Nevermind the compliment about my greatest monthly review… What supplies are we talking about here?

spammish 10

 

That´s it for this month, bookish folks! I hope you enjoyed my spam treasures! I seriously cannot wait to see what more Larry the singer has in store for me.

 

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The Sunshine Blogger Award

Many hugs and kisses to Of All the Books in All the Libraries for the nomination!

sunshine-blogger-award

 

RULES:

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you in a blog post and link back to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
  • Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and ask them 11 new questions
  • List the rules and display the sunshine blogger award logo in your post/or on your blog

 

Let´s see if I can answer Suziey´s questions without blowing it completely. Ready? Ready. Okay, everyone. Time to take a deep breath. This is gonna be fun (fingers crossed)


 

1. Would you rather travel back in time and alter history or go to the future and find out how and when you die and why?

I´d definitely go back in time and change a few things. I´m not one to regret my choices but I would love to go back and reword arguments / try not to hurt people as much as I´ve done. I´m a very proud person and can lash out when stuck in an ugly situation.

 

2. What songs would the soundtrack of your life consist of? 

When I was a teenager I used to say “All by myself” was the complete soundtrack of my life ( yes. I was a dramatic little turd ). Now, I have a colorful list of everything. Each of these songs represents me. My life.

  • Bad Ideas from Alle Farben ( This is my life anthem )
  • The Middle – Jimmy Eat World ( So my life )
  • That´s Not My Name – The Ting Tings ( Because many people call me by nicknames and to this day, have no clue what my name is. The guessing games at parties were and still are always fun. )

 

3. If you woke up tomorrow in somebody else’s body, who would you want to be and what would you do?

Uuhm… * scratching head * Not sure. I´ve never thought about this before. Thinking about it now- I wouldn´t want to go through a body swap. I have enough on my plate as it is- Changing bodies would only bring more problems and I´m too exhausted to deal with new issues. But if a body swap was to take place then I sure as hell hope it´s with someone who has a nice fluffy plush bed.

 

3. When was the last time you binge watched a show and what was it?

I´m currently binge watching Friends.. for the hundredth time. And before that it was Game Of Thrones. Next up- Game of Thrones ( mainly because I think husbutt still doesn´t understand it. HAHAHA )

 

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever gotten?

From my girls- “You´re the best Mommy.” That´s all I need. Although I´m their only mom they still feel the need to point out that I´m their best. Lol. Like they have much to compare with. 🙂 Still warms my heart. ❤

 

5. Have you met any celebrities before, and if so, who?

Ooooh, probably. But I belong to those people who´re too ignorant to notice a celeb even if he/she were tied to my back.

 

6. What books would you recommend to someone that says they hate reading?

I wouldn´t recommend books to those people. Lol. In fact… I´d do a convo swap, pull someone else ( who´s just walking by ) into the convo and say “Oops. Won´t you look at the time. I gotta head out.” And elegantly make a run for it.

 

7. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet?

Most of Jane Austen’s Heroes.

 

8. What is your favorite word?

Fuck.

 

9. If you had a boat, what bookish name would you give it? 

Bookish name as in title or character name? A title I´d give my boat would be `The Mighty Storm` which is from The Mighty Storm by Samantha Towle. And a character name for my boat would be Pigeon from `A Beautiful Disaster`by Jamie McGuire

 

10. What would be the title of your autobiography?

Nap Time. Give Me 5 More Minutes. Leave Me Alone. I Survived. Not My Fault. It´s All His Fault. I Wasn´t Paid Enough.

 

11. What is the one question that you absolutely hate being asked?

Omg. This question is made for me! I get asked the same stupid thing every-damn-time by people who I believe are fairly clever but act like total idiots when then ask that ONE question.

“Are you wearing contact lenses?”

Hmm… Would it be wise to wear contact lenses when I wear glasses? Have you seen how thick my glasses are? I mean- I wear them all the damn long time. Night and day. You´ve never seen me without them because if I don´t wear them I couldn´t see you. I´d be talking to a tree instead of you! OH! You´re talking about my eye color? So, gray can´t be natural? Is that what you´re saying?

That´s how the convo inside my head goes. Instead, the convo goes more like this:

Person:  ( squinting eyes and coming close to my face) Are you wearing contact lenses?

Me: ( having the convo above with myself) No. I have these babies on for a real reason. Why?

Person: I don´t know. Your eye color..Is that gray? ( sounding like I just escaped the Zoo )

Me: ( wanting to run away ) Yeah. I know. Sorry. They´re real.

Okay. Don´t get me wrong. It should be flattering when someone asks me if I´m wearing contact lenses. And sometimes it is ( depending on the person, of course ) but most just look at me ( when they´re close enough ) like I´m some abnormal species. It pisses me off. To tell you the truth… My eyes are blue with just a gray-ish shade that have a weird snowflake pattern. That´s all. Not my fault. Go to my mom and complain. She´ll give you a full blown run down on where I got the color from and who MIGHT get it in the future. Meeh. I´m just fed up. Ignore me. Lol.

Thank you, again, Suziey from Of All the Books in All the Libraries ❤

 

Nominees:

The Cozy Pages

Reading Under The Blankie

Caroline Book Belle

Bookish Paige

 

My 11 questions for you!

 

  • Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
  • Complete the sentence: Never have I ever…..
  • What does the perfect weekend look like for you?
  • Do you believe in Zodiac signs? If so, why? If not, why?
  • What turns you on / off? Why?
  • If you could travel by the speed of lightning.. Which place would you visit first?
  • Which do you prefer: A bustling city that never sleeps or a quiet small town in the middle of nowhere? Why?
  • What book made the biggest impact on you?
  • What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
  • Name 3 things you´d do to make someone happy.
  • Have you ever had a book discussion that went terribly wrong?

 

That´s it, hombres! Hope you enjoyed.

Please, do not feel pressured into participating. ❤ I´ll still love you if you don´t.

If you haven´t been tagged but would still like to participate… Y´all have my blessings. ❤

 

 

 

Spring Cleaning Book Tag

It´s the Spring Cleaning Book Tag, y´all!

For some reason, I totally missed out on my real Spring cleaning ( * snorts * not that I´ve ever cared about Spring cleaning before ) But I will keep the virtual tradition up and alive. I´ll even ignore the fact that it´s Summer. 🙂

I was tagged by the awesome @ The WebWeavers I advise you all to head on over there and leave some love because that blog is just brilliant!


RULES

  • Please link back to Daniel @ Page to Page
  • Respond to the scenarios
  • Tag 5 people (or however many you like)

 


Let´s do this!

 

The Tag

 

  • It’s time to make your bed, but you’re going to have some friends over later and want to pick the perfect book to place on your nightstand for them all to see that you’re “reading”. Which book do you choose?

I´d pick my personal romance Bible- Thoughtless by S. C. Stephens. There hasn´t been a book that´s reached the level of intensity this story has. And it´s really on my nightstand. And it won´t leave my nightstand. 

 

 

  • Oh no! The house needs dusting, but you just can’t put that book you’re reading down! What book would you buy on audio just so you could continue the story while cleaning?

None. I really, REALLY don´t like audio books.

 

 

  • Darn it! The ceiling is leaking! Turns out Mass-Market Paperbacks are the best things to soak water up! Which popular book do you use to soak up the water?

I´m not sure about which popular book I´d pick but I´d definitely use my mom´s Little House On The Prairie paperbacks to stop that leak. She tried to force me to read those books. She also tried to shove ABBA down my throat. I couldn´t escape ABBA but I escaped Laura Ingalls.

 

 

  • Bathrooms need a good scrubbing, and your 2007 Cosmos are a little outdated and need replacing. What book do you place in the bathroom for some light reading for when people need to take care of business?

`Gut: The Inside Story of Our Body´s Most Underrated Organ` by Giulia Enders. It´s a light read about how everything is connected to our digestive system. I´ve read it. I bet many would find it enlightening while sitting on the loo.

 

 

  • Family is coming over, but you have no idea what to make for dinner! You read somewhere that tearing up the last chapter of a book whose ending you hated and sprinkling it in a casserole dish makes for the perfect meal! Which book do you choose?

Gone With The Wind. That ending never sat well with me.

 

 

  • Organization is key, right? When it comes time to organize your bookshelf, you realize you have enough room (and money) to get three new books! Which books do you buy?

This one is unfair. My amazon shopping list has at least 35 books I NEED.

 

  • Finally, some peace and quiet! But, before you can relax, you realize you forgot to send your Aunt a thank you gift for the lovely “ADULT LIFE FOR DUMMIES” book she gave you for Christmas (maybe she’s trying to tell you something?). What book do you send to her to show her how much (this is sarcasm) you appreciate her gift?

My Thank You gift for my aunt would be `Learn How To Orgasm` by Betty Dodson. Because, I too, want to tell her something. * wink wink *

 

That´s it for this Spring Cleaning session! Now to the tags…

I´m tagging….

 

Of All The Books In All The Libraries

Books, Vertigo & Tea

Woodie´s Book Addiction

Have fun, ladies! ❤

 

The Versatile Blogging Award

EN

Dear book friends, family, readers and followers,

I was nominated for the Versatile Blogging Award by the brilliant ladies over at 5171 Miles Book Blog. A huge THANK YOU, chicas! I´m honored and floored. ❤

Since this blog post / award nomination is a German one, I´m going to follow in my colleagues footsteps and offer a translation that will knock your socks off ( Literally. My german spelling is cringeworthy.)

DE

Liebe Buch Freunde, Familie, Leser und Follower,

Ich wurde für den Versatile Blogging Award, von den genialen ladies von 5171 Miles Book Blog nominiert. Ein riesen DANKESCHÖN an euch Mädels. Was für eine Ehre! ❤ ❤

Weil dieser blog post eigentlich eine Deutsche post ist versuche ich in den Fußstapfen meiner Kolleginnen zu treten und das ganze hier mal ( so gut wie es geht) zu übersetzen.

THANK YOU! DANKESCHÖN! MERCI! GRACIAS!

EN

Here are the rules….

*Thank the blogger who nominated you*

*tell us 7 facts about yourself*

*nominate another blogger*

DE

Hier sind die Regeln…

* Dank den Blogger der Dich nominiert hat *

*verrate 7 Fakten über Dich*

*nominiere andere Blogger*

Ready?….

EN  Fact #1

No one calls me Morgana, except for my mom and brother and my dentist. The rest of the world calls me by my middle name, Julia.

Fact #2

My life is totally, completely color oriantated. If my food doesn´t have the right color I won´t eat it. If colors don´t match anywhere in my house I´ll go nuts ( I´m talking about clothes, flowers in my garden, etc.)

Fact #3

I speak 3 languages fluently.

Fact #4

Astrology scares the bejesus out of me. If someone guesses my zodiac sign correctly then I´ll try to avoid that person for eternity. The words ” You´re an Aquarius, right?” will have me crossing oceans at the speed of light. Same goes for card readings. I´ll scream and run away. I don´t want to know what my future holds. I´m also rediculously supersticious. Early birthday wishes are sheer torture for me, black cats on the left side of the road will make me turn my car, shoes on the table….*shudder*, no salt in the house… I just realized I´m weird AF. *hangs head*

Fact #5

My husband used to bully me in School. I was in the 8th grade and he called me fat while I was eating a chocolate croissant. We started dating when I was 19. Married him when I was 23 and now I´m 35 and we´re still married and now have 2 girls together.

Fact #6

I´m secretly competeing with the Queen of England´s garden. Don´t ask me why. Lol. I made it my mission that my garden will look a thousand times better than the one from Buckingham Palace.  ( I have a black thumb so we all know how my garden competition is coming along. But one can dream, right? )

Fact #7

I have a flipflop ossession. I have a pair for every occasion. Last time I counted I had 28 pairs….but I´m not sure. I think I´ve lost count. I´m not sure of that either. Let´s just say that I have an unhealthy flipflop addiction and I don´t want to talk about it ( runs away and shields all the flipflops)

 

Okay. I think that´s about it. 🙂 I hope you guys had fun with the useless, non interesting info of myself! Wishing each and everyone of you a wonderful day! Share the book love!

I nominate

Woodie´s Book Addiction

DE Fakt #1

Keiner nennt mich Morgana, ausser meine Mutter, Bruder und mein Zahnarzt. Alle anderen nennen mich bei meinem zweit name: Julia.

Fakt #2

Mein Leben ist total Farborientiert. Wenn mein Essen nicht die richtige Farbe hat dann esse ich es nicht. Es macht mich auch wahnsinnig wenn Farben im und um mein Haus nicht passen. ( Das gilt für Kleidung, Blumen im Garten, usw.)

Fakt #3

Ich spreche 3 Sprachen. Fliessend.

Fakt #4

Ich habe angst vor Astrologie. Wenn einer mein Sternzeichen richtig errät bin ich die erste die innerlich ausflippt. Die Worte “Du bist bestimmt Wassermann, gell?” bringen mich dazu Ozeane zu überqueren. Das gleiche gilt auch für Tarot Karten lesen. Geht garnicht! Ich muss meine Zukunft nicht wissen. Ausserdem bin ich auch Abergläubig wie sau. Schwarze Katzen bringen mich dazu auf der Strasse zu drehen, frühzeitige Geburtstags Glückwünsche sind der reinste horror…genauso wie Schuhe auf´m Tisch und kein Salz im Haus haben. Ich habe eben realisiert das ich verdammt seltsam bin. * hangs head*

Fakt #5

Mein Eheman hat mich früher in der Schule gemobbt. Als ich in der 8ten Klasse war nannte er mich Fett weil ich immer ein Schoko Croissant gegessen habe. Mit 19 sind wir das erste Mal ausgegangen. Mit 23 habe ich ihn geheiratet und jetzt bin ich 35 und wir sind immer noch zusammen und haben auch 2 kinder. ( Das war eine sehr kurze und knappe, eher unromantische fakt. Es war tatsächlich dramatischer und VIEL romantischer damals.)

Fakt #6

Ich führe momentan ein Garten-Wettkampf mit der Queen of England. Ihre Majestät weiss davon nichts aber ich habe es zur meiner Mission gemacht einen schöneren Garten zu haben wie die von Buckingham Palast. Da ich aber einen schwarzen Daumen habe wisst ihr bestimmt wie erfolgreich ich mit meiner Mission bin.

Fakt #7

Ich bin eine leidenschaftliche Flipflop sammlerin. Momentan habe ich, glaub ich, 28 Paar? Bin mir nicht ganz sicher. Es sind so viele, da verliert man leicht den überblick. Ach, * abwink * wen probiere ich hier zu verarschen? Ich habe bestimmt mehr und ich weiss es nicht aber ich möchte ungern über meine Flipflop sucht reden ( schnell wegrenn und flipflops schützen)

So, meine Lieben. Das war´s von meiner Seite. Ich hoffe ihr hattet Spass mit meine doch-so-nutzlosen-fakten. Ich hoffe ihr habt einen schönen Tag! Mucho Liebe….<3

(KLEINER HINWEIS- Ich entschuldige alle Rechtschreibfehler. Deutsch ist nicht meine Muttersprache. Aber ich bin heil froh das ich es halbwegs reden kann..:-) )

Ich nominiere

Woodie´s Book Addiction